The average adult will look, wonder what is wrong or how they got that way but never ask.  But not those sweet young children.  They will walk right up, touch it, feel it and ask why don’t you have fingers? What Happen?

We ran into the most precious thing this last Sunday.  We were at church and during service the minister called all the children up for Children’s sermon.  All the children went up and sat down. Haylee sat down on the steps and a young boy, probably about 2 maybe three, came and sat down next to Haylee.

At first he did not notice her hand.  Which actually happens alot.  But then after a couple minutes Haylee moved her hands around and he noticed.  Be began to hold her hand.  Touch her fingers and just softly play with her hand.

Haylee is a very patient person and a very kind and compationate person.  He let the little boy look touch and feel her little hand.  The whole time he was doing this Haylee did not frown or get upset.  Instead she sat up there with the biggest smile you had ever seen.

It brought tears to my eyes to see not only this young courious boy up there checking things out but to also see Haylee up there not being upset but rather letting the boy explore and figure things out.

I signed to Haylee good job.  I wanted her to know right then and there just how proud I was of her and what an awesome job she was doing.

We don’t mind if you ask us what happen.  Actually we prefer it over staring.  We want to tell everyone about ABS and how it has not only effected us but how it has blessed our lives and  made us the people we are today.

I know what you are thinking how could I forget my daughter was born with only five fingers. Well there are many different reasons why I forget. First and most important is that Haylee has adapted in ways that you could not imagine. She does anything and everything I can do but with one hand.

The second reason that I forget so much is because we don’t make an issue of Haylee only having five fingers. The less issue you make of things the less issue it really is. We don’t hid it, be ashamed of it or care what others think of it. Haylee is perfect in our eyes and does not have a disability. I believe that if you make a huge issue of the disablity then your child will also make a huge issue of it also.

Next time you ask for a hand, remember it does not matter if it is a big hand or a little hand. It is the body, mind and spirit that is connected to that hand that matters the most.

The first issue we have is that because Haylee has no fingers (only nubs) on her little hand then we have an issue with circulation to her little hand. Because we have an issue with circulation we have to watch that we keep that little hand extra warm. Her little hand turns blue very easy and very fast if it is not kept warm. As Haylee has grown up we have taught her to keep an eye on her little hand and if it starts to turn blue the first things she needs to do is put it under her clothing in her arm pit to warm it up fast. And Haylee has done very good about knowing when her little hand is getting too cold and does exactly what we have showed her to do.

The other issue we have is finding gloves for her little hand. It is very hard to find gloves for both hands and normally we have to buy two pair. But before we put on her glove we have socks that people (including us when Haylee had flower) us for prostisis. She wears that a lot. Sometimes she wears it under her gloves sometimes she just wears it when she feels her little hand getting cold. I noticed her recently that she has been carrying those socks in her backpack so that if her little hand gets cold at school.

My little girl is growing up more and more each day.

Cadence’s effects were somewhat the same but different at the same time.  A few things the girls learned about each other was one that Cadence has had surgery and Haylee has not.  Cadence has partial fingers or full fingers and Haylee does not.  Cadence is very very shy and Haylee is not.

The girls (and Cadence’s brother) played together very well once they got past the shy part.  Jim helped open them up by giving tractor rides.  Although Cadence was not quite ready to do that yet.  It was still wonderful to see them together and interacting.  I also want to Thank Darin Sargent for spending us the book her wrote called, “Thank You Mr. Jenkins”, We were able to give Cadence a signed copy from Darin.

But at the end of the day both girls are true gifts from God that only a select few get blessed with.

When she was little I always worried about how she would handle being around so many other kids with a small hand due to Amniotic Band Syndrome.  But I have learned if you don’t make a issue out of it then Haylee does not make an issue out of it.

As you can see in the picture Haylee had a long weekend of Trick-or-Treating.  Friday night we were invited by the Shriners to an awesome Halloween Party.  They had tons of great games stations and Haylee just had an amazing time. It was nice that she got to talk to some of the different Shriner members and her favorite part was talking with a Shriner named Doug.

On Saturday we went to a few local friends houses then off to Hy-vee Halloween maze that had 35 different businesses handing out candy, sodas, ice cream, hotdogs, and tons of other great stuff.  Haylee had a great time and there were tons of people there.  After that we headed to Gateway mall to do some trick-or-treating.  Last year we went and Haylee came home with tons of candy.  This year we went and Haylee said she was ready to go after walking by about 15 stores and only 1/3 of those stores were handing out candy.  So we left and went off to Parkers for some good BBQ food.  Haylee’s Daddy loves BBQ and so Haylee and I decided to treat him for Halloween night.

On observation I did notice is how well Haylee adjusted to holding the trick-or-treat bag with her little hand and taking candy with her big hand.  The little things that she figures out to make things work.

1. Miracles Happen Everyday ~ Everyday I stand in total amazement that God could hand me such a precious gift. A gift I was told I could never have. After my oldest daughter was born I was told I could not have any more kids. And then God provided my sweet, special, Haylee
2. You can put toothpaste on your toothbrush with only one hand ~ Yes this may make you laugh but next time you go to put toothpaste on your toothpaste try it with one hand
3. Amniotic Band Syndrome is not a handicap ~ having only five fingers does not slow her down and it is just normal to her. So we all need to look at it as normal. Not a handicap but a blessing.
4. Can’t is not longer in our dictionary ~ There is nothing Haylee can’t do. And I mean Nothing. She may do things slower but she still does them.. And she does them with only one hand instead of two.
5. We Are Many ~ There are more people out in the world effected by Amniotic Band Syndrome then you would ever imagine. And once we meet each other we become instant family with a close common bond.
6. Sometimes You Just Don’t Want to Talk About it ~ There are times when someone asks Haylee what happened. And there are times when she just does not want to talk about it. She has told the story so many times that she just has nothing more to say. Don’t push them to say it or make them tell someone. Just tell their story and go on, but don’t make a big deal out of it.
7. A little bit goes a long way ~ You don’t have to have much to make a lot. There are days when Haylee and I can take nothing and make the whole world revolve around us. Haylee does not let only have five fingers slow her down at all. She can play, imagine and have fun like anyone else.
8. The Outside does not matter, it is what is on the inside that Matters ~ Haylee does not care what people think of her little hand. She does not care if you are in a wheelchair, have no hands or legs, she does not care what you look like, she will approach you and talk to you no matter what your looks are. All she cares about is how nice you are, how you treat her and how you treat her family and friends.
9. Love ~ I just can’t explain the love that Haylee has taught me to feel. It is a love that is so special so unique so amazing that ………… I don’t even know how to explain it.
10. IT WILL ALL TURN OUT JUST FINE!!!!!!!!!!!