I am busy working away in the office today with Haylee laying behind me playing a game on her DS.  Every time she would win she would come up and tell me all about how she had won and would be super Happy about it.  But then I heard the words, “How do I keep losing?”  How many of us as adults have asked ourselves that a million times.

That being a hard question for an adult to explain to another adult imagine trying to explain it to your 8 year old.  Yah you can say life is not always fair and you don’t always win. Or you can say we all lose things in our lives at one time or another. Or you could… Well you get the picture.

But how frustrating it must be to think that you always lose.  That made me think about when Haylee was born and I found out that she has been effected by ABS.  I am sure somewhere in my mind I thought.  How come I always lose?  What did I do to get the bad cards?  All those emotions going through you head. Was it your fault, did you cause this, is God mad at you? There are a million different questions you ask yourself and a million different feelings you are feeling.

But really did you lose… Heck no.. You won.  You won a precious gift that only a select few are given from God.  So the next time you child says why do I always lose try turning that losing situation into a total wining situation. We need to teach them to be able to get over that feeling and go on.  Not to l that feeling drag on and on and get them in the total dumps.  Imagine what would of happened if I would of keep thinking negative about my sweet Haylee.

Haylee has blessed my life for over eight years now. Eight years of wonderful memories, great smiles and lots of hugs and kisses. For over eight years we have lived with five fingers and five nubbs. We have been asked what Amniotic Band Syndrome is more times then I could even begin to count. ABS is a part of our daily life since the day Haylee was born. But there are still times I forget that Haylee only has nubbs on her left hand.

I know what you are thinking how could I forget my daughter was born with only five fingers. Well there are many different reasons why I forget. First and most important is that Haylee has adapted in ways that you could not imagine. She does anything and everything I can do but with one hand.

The second reason that I forget so much is because we don’t make an issue of Haylee only having five fingers. The less issue you make of things the less issue it really is. We don’t hid it, be ashamed of it or care what others think of it. Haylee is perfect in our eyes and does not have a disability. I believe that if you make a huge issue of the disablity then your child will also make a huge issue of it also.

Next time you ask for a hand, remember it does not matter if it is a big hand or a little hand. It is the body, mind and spirit that is connected to that hand that matters the most.

photo credit: gurms

There are many moments in a day with your child. Some involve kissing boo boos, while others are times when you need to correct them. However, there are many other times during the day when you can take advantage of “teachable moments” to share your faith with your child or teach them life lessons or other things that can help them in school and in the world.

One example of a teachable moment happened when my son was first learning about textures. He was a little confused about the differences between smooth and rough. We were in the produce section of the grocery store when it struck me. I was a pineapple and an apple and knew what I had to do. We went to the pineapples and let him touch them and then went to the apples and did the same. Then, as we placed each in our shopping cart, we compared them side-by-side. It did not take long, just a minute or so, and he finally could grasp the difference between smooth and rough.

Teachable moments can happen at any time and any place. As parents, we need to look around for those moments each day. Just a little moment here or there can make a big difference in the life of your child. These moments can strike you while at the store, waiting in line, doing chores together, or even in the car!

Sometimes your children will have something on their minds and for some reason, they need to talk to you about it while you are driving. Take advantage of that time. You are their captive audience, but they are also yours. It is a great time to share and talk. So, turn down the radio and tune into each other. You will be amazed by what they want to talk about and you will have a great opportunity to share with them and teach them a little more about life.

About the author:    Alicia H. Tucker is a homeschool mom of three, after having taught in public schools for over ten years. She has a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education and a master’s degree in Education with a focus on Curriculum and Technology. She is a freelance writer and is currently working on writing her first book.

photo credit: popofatticus

One of the most important things you can do with your children are activities that can build lasting memories. It does not take alot of money and sometimes the simplest little things are the things that will stick with your child for a lifetime. Little things like sharing a book together or even taking the time to help your child with his or her schoolwork will stick with them through the years. They will remember that they had a parent that took time for them much more than they had a parent that spent a ton of money on them.

One great way to build some lasting memories is to try to spend “alone time” with each of your children separately. This does not (nor should it be) have to be an all-the-time sort of thing, but rather a more special thing. Something as simple as bringing a child with you to run an errand or pick up a pizza for dinner opens up an opportunity to spend time with and communicate with your child, one on one. You can never tell what they have going on in their minds until you give them a chance to talk to you about it. Plus, you and your child will enjoy the time together, just the two of you, as you grow closer and learn more about each other.

Little things. So often we take them for granted. But so often, they are the things that you and your children will remember most. Take time to do the little things with your children and see you your relationship will grow.

About the author:    Alicia H. Tucker is a homeschool mom of three, after having taught in public schools for over ten years. She has a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education and a master’s degree in Education with a focus on Curriculum and Technology. She is a freelance writer and is currently working on writing her first book.

Every mom has wanted to take a break at one time or another. “If only I could take a day off or have a minute to myself!” I know I have wanted to do that on more than one occasion, but I always felt sort of guilty taking the time to myself. As moms, we are often doing many things for others, but neglect to take some much-needed time for ourselves.

I WAS the biggest martyr – never taking time to myself – because I felt like it would not be fair to my family. I felt like taking time for me was robbing my family of the time I should be giving to them. I said WAS because I have learned my lesson in this area of my life. When I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis three years ago, I had many lesson to learn. Taking time for me was one of the most important lessons. If I do not take a break at some point each day, I am not able to have enough energy to care for my family in the evening. If I do not have some mommy-time, I cannot make dinner, clean up, get the kids in bed, or do anything else that needs to be done in the evening. So, taking time for myself – which I used to view as selfishness – is now vital to my being able to care for my family.

Although not all moms have my disorder, taking time for yourself is something that all moms can benefit from. Stress has a sneaky way of building up on us. Moms are especially at risk. It seems natural that moms, the caretakers of the family, often want to care for and help others. However, it is very easy to find yourself doing too much and the stress begins to build. The best way to rid yourself of some stress is to take a little break each day. Even fifteen minutes a day can help. A little time to yourself can give your body a chance to de-stress. My taking a little mom-break, you may find that you feel better, have more energy, and are better able to finish your day since you have had a chance to get renewed and refreshed.

About the author: Alicia H. Tucker is a homeschool mom of three, after having taught in public schools for over ten years. She has a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education and a master’s degree in Education with a focus on Curriculum and Technology. She is a freelance writer and is currently working on writing her first book.

photo credit: advertisingelyse

While playing cards with the family the other night I sat there and stared at Haylee. I thought to myself man she handles everything God has dealt her with such amazing pride, awesomeness, and I am just in total awwww of her. God dealt Haylee a hand that includes no fingers on the left hand. But Haylee never see’s it as she was dealt an unfair. She never thinks she was short changed. She smiles and loves the hand she was dealt with.

How is it that a 7 year old can totally handle the cards she was dealt by God but as an adult there are days that I feel like I can not even handle the project I was handed much less anything else? Children and adults handle things different. But you also have to realize that our children handle things they way they do because of how we raise and teach them. To teach them that God will give us what He knows we can handle. And no matter how bad it may seem God will never give us more then we can handle. God gives us certain things because that is part of his big plan for us.

How do you and your kids handle the cards that God has dealt you?

photo credit: Sarah606

Has your child been acting strange lately? Has your usually sweet child all of a sudden been mean and ugly to siblings or to you? Do you find yourself thinking: “What has gotten into her (or him)”? If you are the parent of a pre-teen or teen child, you may have experienced this at least once in recent family history.

I have been dealing with this a few times over the past couple years. At first, I did not know what to do to solve this problem. The first time it happened, I punished her for the meanness she was showing to her brother and sister and left it at that. However, when I noticed that it happened more than once, I knew I needed to try something different.

What I have found with my daughter is that when she is acting out, pushing, talking ugly, or showing other negative behaviors, even if the reason is not obvious, there is one there. What I try to do is first re-direct her behavior. If she settles down, usually that is the end of it. But, if after multiple “re-directs,” she is still behaving in those ways, I know it is time for a talk. I try not to force a reason out of her, but just sit her down and let her know that if something is bothering her or if there is a problem that she does not know how to solve, that I am there to listen.

Children need to know that they can always come to their parents to talk. No matter what the problem is or how severe it may be, they need to know they can come to you with anything and that you will not freak out on them. Sometimes it is very difficult to figure out what is going on in their minds, especially since we are not equipped as mind readers. So, they have to be able to come to us when they need to.

When your child shares a problem with you, or even a confession of some sort, try not to get angry. If you get angry every time they try to talk to you about something going on, they will soon decide that they cannot tell you those types of things. Parents, this is where real trouble can start. When they don’t feel like they can come to you with their problems they may turn to their peers, who do not have the insight and experience that you have. Stay calm when talking with your child. If you feel angry, keep it to yourself until you can express any disapproval in a calm manner. Let them see that no matter what they share with you, you can handle it. When they see this, they will know that they can always come to you and trust you with anything.

About the author:    Alicia H. Tucker is a homeschool mom of three, after having taught in public schools for over ten years. She has a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education and a master’s degree in Education with a focus on Curriculum and Technology. She is a freelance writer and is currently working on writing her first book.

photo credit: jc.westbrook

My grandmother tried to teach me patience at an early age through the use of arts and crafts. I did not know she was trying to teach me anything, but it sure was fun! This joy when craftign is somethign I wanted to share with my children as soon as they were old enough to give it a try. I try to make sure that we spend time with arts and crafts together, so we can have fun as we create wonderful things together!

In addition to all the fun, there are also significant learning opportunities with crafting. Some children, like my son, are not able to naturally hold scissors. Children develop at different rates and sometimes their fine motor skills need some honing to help them develop. So, having children cut with scissors helps to develop their hand strength and control, which will help them later on when writing, drawing, coloring, and even painting or sewing.

In addition to strengthening fine motor skills, there are other thigns that can be learned through crafting. Fostering creativity is an obvious one. Children need opportunities to be creative, where they can try out new and different ideas of their own. They will feel a sense of accomplishment when they are done with their project and are proud of the work they created!

Crafting can even help children to practice their reading and math skills as well. To follow a pattern, there are directions to be read and understood, so that they can be followed. They will also need to count and measure to make sure they have the right amounts of materials, which can further strenghen their math abilities.

I encourage you to craft with your children. Even if you learn to do something new with your child, the learning you experience together will leave fun memories in your child’s mind that will not be soon forgotten. Have fun creating and enjoy your time together!

About the author:    Alicia H. Tucker is a homeschool mom of three, after having taught in public schools for over ten years. She has a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education and a master’s degree in Education with a focus on Curriculum and Technology. She is a freelance writer and is currently working on writing her first book.

photo credit: lepiaf.geo
Bird watching is an easy and fun way to spend time with your children and learn about nature as well. If your children are more interested in bugs (as my son is), you could even “critter hunt” while you are bird watching. Although it is not required in order to find birds in your yard, a bird field guide is a very helpful tool. Most field guides list the common names and scientific names of the birds, as well as their nesting habits, sounds and calls they make, their behaviors and markings, and may even describe what their eggs look like. When we purchased ours, we got one that was limited to birds of our state, so it would be easier to identify the ones we would see in our yard.

The important thing to remember when bird watching is that you need to be quiet, so that the birds will not be startled away. Also, at least the first few times you go bird watching, you may want to leave your pet dogs and cats inside (unless they are outdoor pets). I quickly learned that my barking dog was a big deterrent to birds wanting to be seen in our yard.

Take a notebook out with you to take notes about the birds you see. Take note of their colors, any special markings, the kind of beak they have, the color of their feet, any noise you hear them make, what types of plants you found them near, etc… There are so many things to list, so it is best to jot down the ones you feel are most important to helping you identify them later. After spending time outside looking around and taking your notes, come inside and spend time together trying to identify the birds you found. Field guides and the Internet are great resources in helping you identify the birds you have found. You may even be able to discuss with your children why they feel that they have correctly identified each bird. Don’t worry if you cannot identify a particular bird after your first try. You may want to go out again another day to see if you can learn more about the birds you saw and try to identify them again.

After you find out what kinds of birds you have living bear you, you may want to find out what kinds of foods they like. By doing this, you can then hang feeders out to attract more of those types of birds. You may even have fun making your own bird feeders. Eventually, you may even decide to add bird baths or other things to your yard to attract your new feathery friends.

Have fun exploring the nature and animals in your back yard! It is inexpensive, easy, and tons of fun. Plus, you and your children may develop a new hobby that you can enjoy together and build memories that can last a lifetime.

About the author:    Alicia H. Tucker is a homeschool mom of three, after having taught in public schools for over ten years. She has a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education and a master’s degree in Education with a focus on Curriculum and Technology. She is a freelance writer and is currently working on writing her first book.

photo credit: Sugar Pond

Moms sometimes feel as if they are being overwhelmed by everything they have to do in a given day. The housework piles up and you feel like you have a zillion things to do and not enough hours in the day. Then you may still have work to think about and homework to do, not to mention any appointments scheduled for that day. What can moms do to help ease these feelings?

They can put the kids to work. What? Yes, you read that correctly. Even children as young as a year old can be taught some responsibility by helping around the house. The amount of responsibility you wish to teach each child will differ depending on their age and ability levels. Young toddlers can be taught to clean up their toys. Even if they do not pick up everything on the first try, it will still lessen the number of times you need to bend over to pick up and put away their things. As the little ones practice doing this, they will get better at it over time, and will eventually be able to put away all of their toys at the end of each day.

My children are a little older than that – 6, 8, and 10 – so they are able to help a little more. However, when I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis almost 3 years ago (and found myself unable to physically keep up with everything that needed to be done), they were not helping around the house as well as they are now. It took time for them to learn to help the way they do, but they did it. By teaching them to help out, they are learning to be more responsible for their belongings, for the things in their home, and for themselves (and often will clean something up without being asked). By having some good helpers, I am better able to keep up with the housework and my stress levels are lower.

So, where do you begin? No matter your child’s age, start with their bedrooms. Have them first practice picking up their toys at the end of every day before they go to bed. You may even want to set up a reward system for doing this. My children each earn 25 cents per day that they remember to do this. However, some children could earn television time or computer time or maybe even have the opportunity to choose the board game for family game night. Whatever the reward, use it to help motivate your children. After they have gotten pretty good at picking up their toys each day, add something else for them to be responsible of. Putting away their clean clothing is a very good next step. For younger children, I suggest labeling each of their dresser drawers with a picture of the type of items that go in that drawer. Then, when the pile of clean clothes is delivered, they can put it away instead of you. Think of another reward for this job so your children will be further encouraged to continue helping.  (Additional jobs your children might be able to help with are listed at the end of this article.)

Once they can complete these two jobs, then they may be ready to help in other areas of the home. Just remember to have a reward for each job. If you use behavior bucks in your home, they can earn those. If your children earn allowance, you can pay them for each job they complete, rather than having a set fee they get each week. No matter what reward you choose, it will help your children to want to keep helping you out! The more they help you out, the more responsible they will become for their belongings, their home, and themselves.

To help you think of some areas that your children may be able to help with, here are some of the jobs that my children have learned to complete:

·         carry in the groceries

·         help put away the groceries

·         set the table

·         feed the dogs

·         get water for the guinea pig

·         help prepare dinner

·         dust one room

·         get the mail

·         help make coffee

·         vacuum

·         wipe down a bathroom sink

·         take out the trash

·         make your own breakfast or lunch (not with the stove, though)

·         clean windows in one room

·         water plants

·         wipe the kitchen table

·         organize a bookshelf, video cabinet, or television cabinet

·         complete 1 load of laundry (wash, dry, fold, and deliver)

·         take dogs outside and watch them

About the author:    Alicia H. Tucker is a homeschool mom of three, after having taught in public schools for over ten years. She has a bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education and a master’s degree in Education with a focus on Curriculum and Technology. She is a freelance writer and is currently working on writing her first book.